It's actually happening! After repeatedly threatening to bring Jose Mourinho back to the Bernabeu, Florentino Perez has only gone and done it. On Monday, widespread reports confirmed that Real Madrid had agreed a deal with Mourinho for him to return for a second spell as coach, 13 years after his first ended in acrimony.
WINNER: Jose Mourinho
As one of the most self-assured figures in football, Mourinho will doubtless feel that he is back where he belongs, managing one of the biggest clubs in the game. The truth of the matter, though, is that 'The Special One' is no longer quite so special.
Benfica may have been keen to keep a coach that they only re-hired themselves last September, but Mourinho's previous four employers - Fenerbahce, Roma, Tottenham and Manchester United - were all happy to see the back of him.
When Mourinho arrived in Madrid back in 2010, he was regarded by many neutrals as the No.1 coach in the world, having just won a treble with Inter, after enjoying similarly historic success at Chelsea and Porto. As he prepares to make his return, though, Mourinho hasn't won a league title since 2015, while the Conference League is the only cup he's won in the past nine years.
So, while Mourinho recently questioned the credentials of several younger coaches who had been given jobs at top teams, he's actually done nothing himself in the last decade to deserve such a prestigious position. For that reason alone, he should be feeling extremely grateful to Perez for giving him the opportunity to prove he's still got what it takes to excel at the very highest level.
LOSER: Florentino Perez
Perez has finally got his man... again! The Real Madrid president has always believed that it takes a particular kind of personality to manage Madrid - and he's probably right, in fairness. Zinedine Zidane and Carlo Ancelotti were pretty much cut from the same cloth, two cool, calm and collected characters who commanded respect because of their glittering playing careers. Consequently, both proved highly adept at controlling emotions in a dressing room full of inflated egos operating within arguably the most highly pressurised environment in world football.
The thing is, though, Mourinho is not like either Zidane or Ancelotti. He doesn't defuse tension, he drops 'truth bombs' wherever he goes and has absolutely zero regard for either consequences or the casualties. However, whereas Mourinho was once regarded as a master of motivation, his methods no longer work as well as they once did. Even more pertinently, they were never entirely successful at Madrid.
He did remarkably well to break Barcelona's stranglehold on the Spanish title during his first stint as coach, but his unsustainably turbulent tenure was still brought to a premature end because he lost the support of several key members of the dressing room, including two club icons in Sergio Ramos and Iker Casillas. The latter even argued against his potential return - but the former goalkeeper's plea unsurprisingly fell on deaf ears.
Perez is utterly convinced that Mourinho is still the man and has effectively staked his presidency on that being the case. But this is not one of those gambles that's likely to pay off spectacularly. On the contrary, it's almost certain to backfire badly.
WINNER: Barcelona
Hansi Flick welcomed Alonso's appointment as Madrid boss last summer, but he also knew that it might be bad news for Barcelona. Flick had spoken to the former Bayer Leverkusen boss in his previous capacity as Germany head coach and was hugely impressed by the Spaniard's footballing philosophy.
Alonso's arrival also suggested a long overdue change of approach at the Bernabeu. It seemed as if Jose Angel Sanchez had convinced Perez to embrace a more modern style of play that prioritised teamwork over individualism.
However, the president was never entirely on board, even after Alonso's Madrid made an encouraging start to the season, culminating in a 2-1 victory in the first Clasico of the campaign that enabled Los Blancos to open up a five-point lead over Barca at the top of the table.
Consequently, as soon as results took a turn for the worse, and Perez was left with a straight choice between supporting a demanding coach trying to construct something meaningful in Madrid or appeasing a small group of dissatisfied superstars led by Vinicius Jr, the construction mogul decided to abandon the Alonso project after just six months.
However, while Alonso's reputation has essentially been repaired by the mess Madrid now find themselves in, Perez's has been left in tatters. In his desperation, he's now turned to Mourinho to try to fix things - just as he did all the way back in 2010.
Barca will obviously be somewhat wary of Mourinho, who won a Copa del Rey and a Liga title during his previous reign at Real, but they're still unlikely to see his return as anything to be unduly concerned about. They may not be quite as good as they were 16 years ago, but Flick has won back-to-back championships with a united young squad, while the polarising personality that is Mourinho is now walking into a divided dressing room.
We can, thus, expect Barca's band of brothers from La Masia to make mincemeat of Madrid's mercenaries next season.
LOSER: Vinicius Jr
If Vinicius had a problem with Alonso, what are the chances of the Brazilian enjoying a harmonious working relationship with a man that he's likely to already bear some personal enmity towards?!
Lest anyone has forgotten, Mourinho accused Vinicius of being responsible for the shocking scenes we saw at Estadio da Luz back in February, when the winger was verbally abused by both the home fans and Benfica's Gianluca Prestianni after opening the scoring in the first leg of the Champions League play-off clash in Lisbon.
Prestianni - who cowardly covered his mouth with his shirt to prevent anyone from seeing exactly what he said - was subsequently suspended for 'homophobic conduct' towards Vinicius. However, the Argentine controversially avoided any punishment for allegedly racially abusing the Brazil international - a charge Prestianni has always denied, even when speaking to Mourinho after the game.
However, Mourinho's take on the whole incident unsurprisingly enraged people all around the world, as he revealed to Amazon Prime at the time: "I told [Vinicius], when you score a goal like that you just celebrate and walk back... There is something wrong because it happens in every stadium. A stadium where Vinicius plays something happens, always."
It was a staggering statement from Mourinho, a tone-deaf declaration effectively blaming Vinicius for all of the vile racist abuse he has endured over the years. As a result, it will be fascinating to see if Mourinho's arrival has any bearing on Madrid's protracted contract talks with Vinicius, who will be a free agent next year and is thus being linked with a summer transfer to another of Europe's elite clubs.
WINNER: Real rightsholders
Love him or loathe him, Mourinho makes it impossible to ignore him. He might no longer be a trendsetter from a tactical perspective, but when it comes to provoking people, the Portuguese remains in a league of his own.
Nobody manipulates the media quite like Mourinho, who is essentially a journalist's dream because of the unrivalled amount of soundbites he spits out each and every time someone puts a microphone in front of his motor-mouth. Depending on his mood (or pre-meditated intention), he can be as funny as he can be offensive - which is why everyone wants to hear him speak.
Basically, Mourinho is still big box office, so his Real return will at least be welcomed by the rightsholders for La Liga, the Champions League and the Copa del Rey - because nobody is neutral when it comes to the self-proclaimed 'Special One' Consequently, football fans all across the world will be tuning in on a weekly basis to either celebrate his victories - or his defeats.
